To those of you getting married soon and considering, or planning, a dark, demented wedding of your own, congrats! We toast that unique, alternative streak that makes you who are, and the person who loves you enough to vow to warp and corrupt you ‘til death do you part! Our wedding gift to you is the following listicle we constructed to help you plot and execute your perfect conspiracy!
Some people look forward to everything about summer, from digging toes in the sand to shopping for the perfect summer wardrobe and beachwear. However, some of us dread all the sunlight, tourist-crowded stores, and the very idea of putting on something that doesn’t cover the beach body we forgot to consider since we made the New Year’s resolution to consider it!
One night, when I was pregnant with my son, I was sleeping peacefully, for the first time in weeks. I’m usually a hard sleeper, and only loud, shrill sounds can wake me. However, that night, something that sounded like feet shuffling stirred me from my sleep. It didn’t faze me at first, because I wasn’t the only one who often had trouble sleeping. Then, the footstep sound stopped right at my bedroom door. I was lying halfway on my stomach (not completely, because of the baby belly), and I tried to turn my head to see who was standing there.
